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DP's Secretary was a secretary at Barkers stationery firm, with a desk just outside managing director DP's office. In April 1989, she coped with an irate Derek Wilton, who had just been demoted from sales to dispatch due to the results of his pension medical. Derek waited outside DP's office nearly all day for a quick word with the boss, but DP was tied up in far more important matters due to his impending visit to Amsterdam and didn't have time to see him.

Eventually, Derek tried to force the issue by asking the secretary to take a memo through to DP's office, in which he threatened to resign unless he remained in his current position. She later told Derek that DP had seen the memo but hadn't said much. When the secretary told him he'd missed DP leaving the office, Derek left to continue his quest in the car park.

Throughout the day, the secretary had reacted to Derek's situation with a quiet amusement.

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